"THE COMET" 

SODA FOUNTAIN

 "Ice Cream & Fantasies"

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by Benjamin Gavarre

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©  BENJAMÍN GAVARRE SILVA

 Contact this address if you have produced it or wish to do so: gavarreunam@gmail.com

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Characters:

· JONATHAN: A broke, naive, and—until now—desperately virgin college student.

· MITCH: His know-it-all but cowardly friend.

·  BEN: The third student. Wears taped-up glasses; easily frightened.

· THE GYPSY-WAITRESS: Owner of "The Comet Diner." Sporting a 1950s mystical look, icicle eyes, she is a devourer of youth, sorceress, and hunter of virgin college boys.

 

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ONE-ACT PLAY

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SCENE 1

(A street just outside the university campus. Midday sun. JONATHAN, MITCH, and BEN walk by dragging their feet, wearing messy clothes and backpacks. BEN adjusts his glasses, which are held together with duct tape.

MITCH: I’m telling you, "Pre-Columbian History 101" can wait until the next century. The world won't end just because we don't know what the Olmecs ate for breakfast.

BEN: But the midterm is on Friday! Besides... we are desperate. No money, no job, and a track record with girls that is just pathetic. Zero experience, zero dates, nothing! We’ve binge-watched more streaming series than we've touched actual female hands. We are a wasteland of chastity!

JONATHAN: Shut up, both of you! We skipped class to find the meaning of life... or at the very least, a hot dog.

(Suddenly, the stage lights shift into a vibrant, gaudy 1950s "Technicolor." The sound of revving engines from "Grease"-style hot rods echoes. The air smells intensely of strawberry milkshakes. In the background, a brilliant neon sign blinks to life: "The Comet: Ice Cream & Fantasies".)

BEN:

(Terrified, adjusting his glasses)

Oh, sweet mother of God... This looks... expensive.

MITCH: And very retro. They must be shooting a movie here near campus. Let’s make a deal: only one of us goes in. We don't want to blow a whole semester's budget. And hey, what if they give it to us for free, like we're movie extras?

(They do a quick coin toss in the air. JONATHAN loses.)

MITCH: You're up, Jonathan! You’re the poorest and the most desperate to break your romantic fast. They’ll take pity on you quicker.

(Jonathan walks toward the door of "The Comet." As he pushes it open, magical bells chime. Jonathan steps inside, and the door slams shut with a heavy, echoing thud.)

 

SCENE 2

(The interior of the Diner lights up. Behind the chrome counter stands THE GYPSY-WAITRESS, wearing a 1950s carnival fortune-teller dress and hair like wildfire. She serves with a hypnotic, chilling disdain.)

JONATHAN:

(Trembling, red as a tomato)

Uh... good afternoon... Can I get a chocolate milkshake? It’s just that... it’s my first time in a place like this... and well, my first time doing anything, really...

(The Gypsy turns around in silence and smiles with feline malice. She begins to whip the milkshake magically. Outside the window, MITCH and BEN press their faces against the glass, cheering Jonathan on and flashing him big thumbs-ups.)

JONATHAN:

(Full of joy, leans toward the window and waves excitedly, holding the chocolate milkshake)

Look, guys! They actually gave it to me! Hi!

(In that split second, THE GYPSY emerges out of nowhere right behind Jonathan. She places a heavy hand on his shoulder and glares at the window with absolute iciness. Outside, Mitch and Ben clutch each other in terror, turning pale.)

BEN:

(Backing away from the window)

No way... that lady gives me a terrible vibe. Jonathan looks happy, but I think she wants some "one-on-one" time with him. She’s about to take our boy's innocence!

MITCH: I know, right? I'm so jealous! Let’s leave him to enjoy his glorious first time. We’ll come back later, maybe we'll score some milkshakes too.  

BEN: Let’s get out of here!

(The two run away in a panic.)

 

SCENE 3

(The clock on stage spins at top speed. Surreal music plays. A few seconds pass for the audience, but a sign on stage now reads: "20 YEARS LATER". MITCH and BEN walk back onto the street. They wear the same clothes, but they look exhausted.)

MITCH: We’ve been walking around this block for like twenty minutes, but everything felt so weird... like we stepped into our parents' era.

BEN: Yeah, let’s go find Jonathan and see if his big "debut" is finally over...

(The door to "The Comet" swings open. An OLD MAN with a ridiculously long white beard steps out, happily licking a strawberry ice cream cone. Behind him, THE GYPSY peeks out, smirking with contempt before slamming the door. The old man floats toward them with a dazed look in his eyes.)

MITCH: Excuse us, sir...

(To Ben)

What a weird old guy.

OLD MAN (JONATHAN): Hey, what's up, boys! You took forever. I almost finished all of the lady's ice cream... but man, it was worth it. The first time hurt a bit, but then she fed me blueberry cookies and taught me the secrets of the cosmos!

MITCH:

(Confused)

Right... sure, sir... whatever you say.

(To Ben)

Let’s go, the old man is out of his mind.

JONATHAN: Who are you calling an old man?! It’s me, Jonathan! Look what I learned during my initiation...

(Jonathan makes a ridiculous hand gesture, and his eyes briefly glow with a faint neon hue)

I can see the aura of your emotional baggage! The lady made me her adept, her servant... her mystical pleasure slave! We became one with space-time... though I do get out of breath just standing here.

BEN:

(Panicking)

Wait a minute... If you're really Jonathan... tell us what class we skipped today.

JONATHAN: Pre-Columbian History, obviously! But don't be bores. Go on inside to the Mistress. She’s very demanding, but she really opens up your third eye.

(The door cracks open. THE GYPSY peeks out. Staring dead at them, she curls her index finger, gesturing them to come inside: "Come...".)

BEN:

(Hypnotized)

Well... if Jonathan learned magic and finally got laid... I’m going in! Goodbye, virginity!

(Ben runs through the door. It slams shut with the same heavy chime of bells. OLD JONATHAN and MITCH are left alone on the sidewalk.)

 

SCENE 4

MITCH:

(Staring at Jonathan)

Dude... did she really make you her slave? You look... completely drained.

JONATHAN (OLD):

(Licking his ice cream with a vacant stare)

Worth... every... single... second of my youth. I learned tantric levitation... and how to weave threads of time... She sucks your soul right out of your eyes, Mitch... you're her servant until there isn't a drop of juice left in you...

MITCH:

(Taking a step back, terrified)

You know what... I’m out. This turned into a B-movie horror flick.

JONATHAN: No, wait! Ben is already coming out. The Mistress works fast when she's hungry.

(The door flies open. BEN steps out. He is now a hunched, decrepit old man, wearing the same taped-up glasses, but with wild, unblinking eyes and a floating smile of absolute adoration.)

BEN (OLD):

(In a raspy, elderly voice)

Praise be to the Neon Gypsy! I can speak astral Maya now! And I am her number two slave! But man... my lower back hurts so bad...

JONATHAN (OLD):

(Gloomily, looking at his ice cream)

Yeah... she already threw me away too. She sucked us dry... she needs fresh batteries.

BEN and JONATHAN:

(The two old men corral Mitch like brainwashed cult-zombies)

Your turn, Mitch... Join the coven... Step into your first time... She’s hungry...

MITCH: No! Help! I’d rather die a virgin and finish my degree!

(Mitch tries to run, but his legs completely freeze. Sparks of neon light shoot from his shoes, anchoring him to the pavement.)

MITCH: My legs! The witch's magic has me trapped!

(The door to "The Comet" flings wide open. THE GYPSY steps out slowly. She glances at Jonathan and Ben with utter disgust, like two old, broken toys, and then locks her fierce, hungry eyes onto Mitch.)

THE GYPSY: Don't fight it, my sweet, inexperienced little friend... Your buddies have served their purpose; they are dry, they know too much. Now it’s your turn to be my servant, my slave, my youth-battery... Come on in... you're about to experience the true "Charm" of the university...

(The Gypsy grabs Mitch by the collar of his shirt with supernatural strength. Mitch lets out a high-pitched, comical scream as he is dragged into the glowing interior of the diner. Old Jonathan and Old Ben, with the blank stares of those who have lived it all, sit together on the curb to share the strawberry ice cream cone.)**

 

 

THE END / QUICK CURTAIN