THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS
"In
a city of eight million people, Steve’s biggest obstacle isn't Manhattan
traffic—it's the wall separating him from his chaotic roommate."
SETTING:
A shared apartment in the Upper West Side, Manhattan. Present day.
CHARACTERS:
- STEVE (30):
A Civil Engineer. Polished to a fault. He views life as a structural
blueprint that must not be compromised. Attractive, but rigid—hiding a
secret fascination for the chaos he can’t calculate.
- LEONOR (30):
An Actress. A force of nature surviving on auditions and hustle. Her mess
is a language Steve refuses to speak. She is expressive, intuitive, and
tired of being “just a roommate.”
- TOM:
The neighbor from 4B. A classic New Yorker; nostalgic, observant, and a
bit repressed.
- ELVIRA:
The neighbor from 4C. Sharp-witted with a "radar" for other
people's crises.
SCENE
0: PROLOGUE – THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS
(A
living room divided by an invisible line of habits. STEVE’s side is clinical
and minimalist; LEONOR’s side is a jungle of scripts and an overflowing
wardrobe rack. STEVE is at a mirror, fighting a silk tie. He’s in a charcoal
suit. LEONOR is licking a spoon covered in peanut butter.)
STEVE:
(Without looking) Leonor, have you seen my silver cufflinks? The ones with my
initials. My mother set me up on a date with a partner’s daughter at the
University Club.
LEONOR:
(Licking the spoon) Third drawer of that sideboard your aunt gave you… A
"Trust Fund Redhead," I assume? If your mom picked her, she probably
has three middle names and a summer house in the Hamptons. You’ll be bored
before the martinis arrive, Steve. That woman has no subtext.
STEVE:
(Adjusting the knot) It’s the next logical step. Stability. I can't keep living
like a recent grad with a roommate who rehearses Shakespeare at 3:00 AM.
Sorry to be blunt, but that’s how it is.
LEONOR:
(Stands up; the word "roommate" hits her hard). Right.
"Roommates." Not even the friendly "Roomies"… Just zip-code
companions. (She approaches and straightens his tie; her fingers tremble
slightly). You look… perfect. So perfect you look like a digital render of a
building where nobody actually lives.
STEVE:
(Stiffens at her touch). Perfection doesn't exist, Leonor. But one must
maintain order. Mathematics doesn't lie: the order of operations does
affect my peace.
LEONOR:
Well, I don’t know. I’ll answer you with some old verses: "I have a
what-cha-call-it... after I saw a I-don't-know-what, and it gave me a certain
feel, as they say, that I what-cha-called myself."
STEVE:
I have no idea what that means. Explain it to me some other time… I’m in a
rush.
(The
doorbell rings. ELVIRA enters with a bundle of Rue.)
ELVIRA:
Well, well! Look at you, all dapper. I brought you some Rue. It’s for
attracting new love or warding off bad vibes. Put it under your pillows—each of
you.
STEVE:
It’s just a date, Elvira. For the sake of stability.
ELVIRA:
(Wise eyes) You know, son… destiny in New York is like dampness: it always
finds the crack. (She exits with a wink).
STEVE:
Wish me luck, roommate. (He exits).
LEONOR:
(Whispering) Luck for the redhead… God, what is wrong with me and this man?
SCENE
1: THE LOGBOOK AND THE SWELL
(STEVE
at his laptop. Shallow breathing. A box of tissues at the edge of the desk.)
STEVE:
(A whisper to the screen) Almost there… the horizon is clearing… enter the
harbor…
(LEONOR
enters with one shoe on. She notices his rigid posture. She exits and
re-enters, rattling her keys.)
LEONOR:
Have you seen my compass? I feel like the currents in this place always lead me
to crash into you.
STEVE:
(Slams the laptop shut). I was… studying tides for the bridge project. Mathematics
doesn't lie: hydrodynamics is a complex matter.
LEONOR:
Your forehead is soaked. Was there a storm on the monitor?
STEVE:
Corrosive humidity. The tissues are for the mist. Nautical prevention.
LEONOR:
Be careful navigating alone, Captain. Reaching the harbor is better when
someone is on the dock to help with the lines. (Exits).
SCENE
2: THE HEAT OF THE TWO BLANKETS
(A
freezing NY winter night. The radiator clanks. STEVE is shirtless; LEONOR is in
a thin silk nightgown.)
STEVE:
You’re defying biology, Leonor. The floor is ice.
LEONOR:
(Behind him). My room is an igloo. The sheets feel like sheets of steel.
STEVE:
(Turns face-to-face). You’re trembling.
LEONOR:
I’m trembling from the cold… or a lack of air. My blanket is a lie. It covers,
but it doesn't warm.
STEVE:
Mine is structural.
LEONOR:
(Whispers) I thought… with two blankets on one bed… we could cheat the frost.
Two bodies under both.
STEVE:
(Surrendering). Logistically efficient. But only for the cold, Leonor. No funny
business.
LEONOR:
(Smiling) No funny business, Steve. Everything in its place. (Lights out).
SCENE
3: THE WOBBLY TABLE
(STEVE
under the coffee table in gym shorts, working with fury.)
STEVE:
Leonor! Pass me the pliers. I need something that holds tight, something
that never lets go, no matter what.
LEONOR:
(Leaning in). You have sawdust on your thigh, Steve. It looks like a mark.
STEVE:
The mark doesn't matter. The wood is giving way. Hand me the screwdriver. I
have to tighten this; if I leave it loose, it’ll keep wobbling.
LEONOR:
Sometimes tightening too much breaks the grain. We could use a piece of
cardboard… something alternative.
STEVE:
I don’t want patches. I want things to stay put, even if it hurts to screw them
in.
LEONOR:
(Whispering) Tables don’t know they’re unstable. But we do.
SCENE
4: THE ARCHITECTURE OF DESIRE
(STEVE
is alone. He’s cleaning LEONOR’s rack with a spray bottle. He stops at a
medieval chainmail shirt and a black leather harness.)
STEVE:
(Arranging hangers) Disorder… pure, alternative disorder. How does she live
among these rags? (Touches the chainmail; it clinks). Woven steel. Interesting.
(Pulls out the harness). And this? Black leather… durable. The architecture of
this is fascinating. It’s functional.
(He
takes off his shirt. He puts on the harness and a leather cap. He looks in the
mirror. His posture changes into pure authority.)
STEVE:
(Deep voice) "Citizen… I am your superior… you will have to obey me. As if
you were my… my dog instincts."
(TOM
and ELVIRA peek through the door. STEVE doesn't see them. LEONOR arrives and
stands frozen in the back.)
TOM:
(Whisper) A biker from hell just moved into 4B.
LEONOR:
Well… looks like we’re having a leather night in the apartment.
STEVE:
(Jumps in fright, trying to cover his chest). It’s… it’s a materials test! I
was checking the resistance against atmospheric pressure!
ELVIRA:
(Laughing) Son… it makes your gaze so much deeper.
LEONOR:
(Approaching). It’s got style, Steve. A lot of structure.
STEVE:
(Fleeing to his room, stumbling). That’s it! I won't allow you to laugh at my
scientific research! Leonor, this has
a safety knot—help me!
SCENE
5: THE UNIFORM AND THE SHAM
(STEVE
at his laptop, tense. LEONOR enters dressed as a police officer for a casting.)
LEONOR:
Citizen! Identify yourself. Emotional high-security zone.
STEVE:
(Without looking). Leonor, stop. I’m not in the mood for your "actor"
games.
LEONOR:
(Circling him). I’m not Leonor. I’m the officer in charge of imposing order. Do
you think I command respect, Steve?
STEVE:
(Gulping). You look like someone who doesn't take "no" for an answer.
LEONOR:
If I arrested you for "omission of affection"… would you come
quietly?
(TOM
enters. STEVE pulls away sharply.)
STEVE:
Go change. My date is coming soon. I don’t have time for this.
LEONOR:
Order is a clean prison, Steve. But someone has to throw away the key.
SCENE
6: THE REMOTE AND THE WILDLIFE
(STEVE
cleans. LEONOR eats blueberry jam on toast.)
STEVE:
Don’t leave crumbs, Leonor.
STEVE:
(Touches the remote; his hand sticks). You’ve covered the remote in jam!
(The
TV goes haywire, flipping channels.)
TV
(VOICE): "The hermit crab doesn't
usually stay long in its old shell…"
STEVE:
The TV has a mind of its own! That crab is judging me!
(ELVIRA
enters).
ELVIRA:
You have to abandon the old shells when you don’t fit anymore. Sometimes it’s
about appreciating what’s right in front of you. (Exits).
FINAL
SCENE: THE INAUGURATION OF CHAOS
(TV
blue static. STEVE holds the sticky remote with a cloth. He’s shaking.)
STEVE:
(Cutting voice) You can’t just… deconfigure everything! I can’t even watch the
news in my own house anymore.
LEONOR:
(Standing up) Wouldn’t you rather stay in silence with me, Steve?
STEVE:
(Turns abruptly). I don’t like how you look at me—like you know something I
don’t!
LEONOR:
I know exactly what you know… Stop acting with me.
STEVE:
I had a plan, Leonor. A map. A logical life… and you weren’t on that map.
LEONOR:
And did your plan include warming me up at 3:00 AM?
STEVE:
(Screaming) I prefer predictable things over this "I-don’t-know-what"
that takes my breath away when I see you!
(An
explosive kiss. STEVE’s total surrender. The remote falls. They embrace with
fury.)
STEVE:
(Whispering) What… what did we just do?
LEONOR:
I… I just wanted you to stop calculating.
STEVE:
(Laughing) God! It was so easy! All that shell shattered by one kiss!
(Loud,
liberating laughter. They kiss again. TOM and ELVIRA peek in, smiling).
STEVE:
No more TV! Kick the remote! We’ll reach the harbor together… Your room or
mine?
LEONOR:
Mine. I put on clean sheets.
STEVE:
That will have to be verified by a field inspection.
(They
embrace as the TV static fades, leaving only the warm light of New York over
them.)
CURTAIN.
