Isabela, the Teenager My Room, My Kingdom By Ben Gavarre

Isabela, the Teenager

My Room, My Kingdom

By Ben Gavarre

 

Characters:

• ISABELA (ISA): A witty and self-conscious teenager.
• MOM: Her mother, critical but concerned.
• LALA: Her older sister, pragmatic and sometimes mocking.

(Isa's room. It's the chaotic sanctuary of a teenager. There is a large mirror, a folding screen, a futon, clothes everywhere, and a nearly new bicycle being used as a coat rack. One door leads to the rest of the house and a window faces the street.)

SCENE 1

(Warm light. ISA is on her futon, glued to her cell phone with headphones on. MOM watches her, sitting with a sour look on her face. The silence is tense. LALA enters, scans the situation, and smiles ironically.)

MOM (With a sigh.)

Just what I needed. You too, Lala? Are you here to back her up?

LALA

Back her up with what? I just came to see what you two were doing. Besides, you're not even saying anything to her, just staring daggers. So intense!

(ISA peeks over her phone and glares at LALA. Lala makes a "don't look at me" gesture. Isa goes back to her phone.)

MOM

Instead of helping me get her out of her gremlin mode, you join the enemy.

LALA

Oh, Mom, I'm just checking my messages. You should be looking at her. Look at that outfit, it's like she wants to hide from the world. And this room... it's a disaster! The bike you bought her is a coat rack! No wonder she's a little chubby, she never moves.

ISA

(Without taking off her headphones, but loudly.)

Don't call me that.

MOM

Well, why don't you put in some effort, sweetie? If you want to be treated differently, do something. You just live in this cave with your... your TikTok, your Insta-thingy, that...

ISA

(Yanking off one headphone, fed up.)

All I ever hear is "blah, blah, the diet," "blah, blah, exercise," "blah, blah, get out of your fat-cave"...

MOM

Well, you'd better listen! If you don't change your attitude, I swear I'll...

ISA

(Jumping up, exasperated.)

JUST STOP, PLEASE! FORGIVE ME FOR EXISTING!

MOM

Don't you raise your voice at me, Isabela!

LALA

(Under her breath.)

And... here comes the drama bomb. A big one. Literally. Ha, ha.

MOM

And you, Lala, you'd better shut your mouth or you'll get double the punishment. Let's go. Let's leave "Her Highness" to think about what she's done.

(MOM exits, indignant. LALA follows her.)

LALA

Bye, little sis. Take a good look in the mirror. Brrr.

(She exits. ISA, furious, throws herself onto the futon. She puts on both headphones and cranks up the volume, closing her eyes. The light slowly changes.)

SCENE 2: THE HALLUCINATION

(The lighting becomes strange, psychedelic. The music from ISA's headphones gets distorted. ISA gets up, as if in a trance. She walks towards a Tupperware container.)

ISA

(Talking to herself.)

My life in depression mode. Fat, ugly, grounded... and on a diet. Super.

(She opens the container and eats some mushrooms.)

Mmm. These mushrooms taste... super weird. Like dirt with something... I don't know. So random.

(She eats another one. She looks out the window.)

There he is again. The guy on the bike. My stalker. I wonder what his name is. Romualdo? No, gross, ha, ha. I'll call him... Jonah. Jonah from the Well.

(She laughs out of nowhere.)

Ha, ha... from the well. And he's a delivery guy. He should be on a motorcycle, in full "Motomami" mode... with a killer bod.

(She moves away from the window, goes behind the folding screen, and comes out in an extravagant outfit, barefoot. She looks at herself in the mirror.)

ISA

I don't know... is this a glow-down? 'Cause yeah, I'm definitely on a downturn.

(Strange music starts playing, like a Lo-Fi tutorial.)

What's that music? I feel like I'm glitching... like a bug in the Matrix. Ha, ha. Oh great, they've hacked my brain! It was the mushrooms! The mushrooms had magic mushrooms in them! Ha, ha, ha, I'm laughing at my own bad jokes, ha, ha... I think I'm gonna puke... ha, ha...

SCENE 3: THE MIRROR REALM

(The music gets louder. Suddenly, from behind the mirror, LALA appears, dressed like a spectral and ridiculous Fairy Godmother.)

ISA

(Screams.)

What are you doing!

GODMOTHER LALA

(In a motivational audiobook voice.)

I have come to optimize your potential. Here are your shoes, baby.

ISA

This is so embarrassing. You're scaring me. So cringe. Even my hallucinations are cheesy, Lala.

GODMOTHER LALA

I am not Lala. I am your Fairy Godmother 2.0. I'm here to help you manifest. Now, put on the shoes.

(ISA puts on a pair of exaggeratedly high platform shoes and walks clumsily.)

ISA

I'm going to have the fall of the century in these... Ha, ha! Hey, what's your deal? Are you real or a hologram?

(Through the mirror, MOM enters as an arrogant QUEEN, wearing a half-mask. She sits in the chair as if it were a throne.)

ISA

Mom? What's with the mask? You're being weird now, too?

QUEEN MOM

(In a soap opera villain voice.)

Isabela. For your insolence and for being a wretch to your sister, the princess, I decree that you are under house arrest. Forever.

ISA

Princess? Her? But she's so basic! It's not fair! I wish I'd never been born!

QUEEN MOM

(To Godmother Lala.)

Did you hear that? So dramatic. Such a bad attitude.

GODMOTHER LALA

But, so you don't get too down... My mother brought you a gift. A mystery box.

(QUEEN MOM presents ISA with a very elegant box.)

ISA

For real? For me? Is it new makeup? Or my new outfit?

(She opens the box. It's empty.)

There's nothing here! Not even a lousy bottle cap! It's all a lie! You tricked me!

(She cries comically.)

GODMOTHER LALA

(To the Queen.)

I'm sure her boyfriend, Jonah, is to blame. He must be giving her those weird gummies.

QUEEN MOM

Isa has a boyfriend? Of course! That explains everything.

ISA

Just leave me alone! Why are you looking at me like that? Do you think I'm fat? Are you making fun of me?

(ISA gets dizzy and falls to the floor. The light flickers and goes to BLACK.)

SCENE 4: REALITY

(Normal light. MOM and LALA are next to ISA on the floor. No costumes, with scared expressions.)

ISA

(Waking up.)

What... what happened? Mom, Lala... what are you doing? I feel awful.

MOM

(Her voice trembling.)

Of course you do! You almost went into the light! Lala found you on the floor, talking nonsense.

LALA

We called the doctor, sweetie. He said you had a bad case of food poisoning from the mushrooms. They were more rotten than a yogurt in the desert.

MOM

This habit of yours of keeping food in here... look! What would have happened if we hadn't found you, Isabela?

ISA

I don't know. I'm glad you were here.

(Mom and Lala help her to the futon. Mom touches her forehead, genuinely worried.)

MOM

Rest, my love. Just rest now.

(BLACKOUT.)

SCENE 5: LATER

(Days later. The light is pleasant. MOM is sitting, smiling. ISA comes out from behind the screen wearing comfortable, colorful clothes that she likes. She looks more confident.)

MOM

You look great, Isa. You look... what is it you kids say? Like a snack!

ISA

Thanks, Mom. I feel great. More like myself.

MOM

And to think you didn't want to go shopping.

ISA

It's not that I didn't want to, it's that I didn't want to go with you.

MOM

(Smiling, taking it in stride.)

Of course. Your wicked witch of a mother.

ISA

No, Mom, I'm sorry. Seriously, I'm glad you came. And that you let me choose.

MOM

You chose well. Although, I might add a few little stitches to that skirt just to...

ISA

(Interrupting her, laughing.)

That's enough, Mom! Leave it.

(LALA enters.)

LALA

Hey, am I interrupting a Hallmark moment? Isa, your Romeo is downstairs, the one with the bike.

MOM

A boy? Jonah?

LALA

Yeah, Mom. He's her friend. And yes, he rides a bike. He's nice.

MOM

(Frowning.)

But... he doesn't have a car?

ISA

(Calmly and confidently.)

Mom, the car doesn't matter. This isn't the eighties. Besides, it's eco-friendly.

(The doorbell rings.)

LALA

Well, the princess's ride is here.

ISA

(Putting on sneakers, thoughtful.)

Hey... what if I ditch him?

MOM

What do you mean, ditch him? No, that's so improper.

ISA

No, but... why don't the three of us go have fun?

LALA

The three of us? Go where?

ISA

Bike riding. Jonah can lend me his, and you two can use yours and mine, which is finally going to stop being a ridiculously expensive coat rack.

MOM

(Surprised, but she likes the idea.)

The three of us? On bikes?

ISA

(Smiling, challenging.)

Come on. It'll shake the rust off. Or are you too old for it now, Momma?

MOM

(Standing up, with newfound energy.)

Isabela, please. Not rusty at all, as you say. What is well learned is never forgotten!

LALA

For real, this feels like a sequel to your hallucination. And what do we tell Jonah?

ISA

(Running towards the door.)

That today the princess has to rescue the queen and take the court jester for a ride!

(Isa dashes out. Lala and Mom look at each other, a mix of surprised and amused.)

MOM

(With a genuine and liberating laugh.)

Let's go! The streets are ours!

(They run out after her. The room is left empty, bathed in a brilliant light.)

(END)