Angel City Devil
A Psychoanalytic Comedy in One Act
By Ben Gavarrë
Characters:
MARÍA: 20s. A recently arrived Argentine in L.A., overwhelmed and struggling. She wields sarcasm like a shield.
DR. CARLOS ROSSI: 40s. A melancholic Argentine psychoanalyst in Beverly Hills, prone to Freudian interpretations.
TÍO BETO: 60s. María’s Mexican-American uncle from East L.A. A former lowrider who now swears by CBD oil and YouTube conspiracy theories.
TÍA MARISOL: 50s. María’s Venezuelan aunt from Burbank. Dramatic, image-obsessed, and speaks with the intensity of a telenovela star.
MEFI: Ageless. A Silicon Beach "Visionary." Dresses like a tech CEO who just discovered spirituality.
SCENE 1
Location: Dr. Rossi's office, Beverly Hills. Minimalist, expensive, with a single leather chaise lounge that looks untouched. MARÍA sits in a chair opposite the doctor. The scene begins mid-session.
(SCENE START)
DR. ROSSI
(In a gentle, porteño accent)
So, this profound sense of alienation... this "despelote"... it was triggered by the visit to your Tío Beto, vos decís.
MARÍA
It wasn't a visit, Doctor. It was a hostage situation with better weed smoke. He sent me on a quest. He gets these ideas... Yesterday he told me the Hollywood sign is an antenna to control our dreams.
DR. ROSSI
(Nodding slowly, making a note)
The symbolic phallus of the city... interesting. And this quest, contame, what was its nature?
MARÍA
An errand. A life-or-death mission for groceries that only exist in his dimension.
(The lighting shifts. The office fades into a flashback. We are in TÍO BETO's cluttered backyard in East L.A. Old car parts, cacti, and wind chimes are everywhere.)
TÍO BETO
Listen up, mija. I need you to go to Erewhon. Not the one in Silver Lake, the one in Venice. The vibe is purer there.
MARÍA
Che, Tío, it's 4 PM. The 101 Freeway is a parking lot. Can't you just Postmates this stuff?
TÍO BETO
(Horrified)
Are you crazy? They put 5G trackers in the kale! You have to go. Get me the activated charcoal kombucha, non-GMO nopales, and a bottle of that CBD oil for my dog, El Chamuco. And if it gets late, just crash with your Tía Marisol in Burbank. I texted her.
MARÍA
(Pale)
With Tía Marisol? No, no, prefiero dormir en el auto. I'd rather sleep in the car. She’ll just spend hours telling me I need to get fillers.
TÍO BETO
Don't be a baby. And be careful, eh? L.A. is full of psychic vampires. They'll suck your soul right out. Now go, I gotta watch this video about how birds aren't real.
(María exits. The scene snaps back to the psychoanalyst's office.)
MARÍA
...and of course, by the time I got back from Venice, it was pitch black and my phone was dead.
DR. ROSSI
And you faced the dragon. You went to Burbank.
MARÍA
I went to Burbank. It was less like facing a dragon and more like facing a one-woman jury at my own character trial.
(Lighting shifts again. Flashback. MARÍA is at the door of a pristine, overly decorated apartment. She rings the bell. TÍA MARISOL opens the door, wearing a silk robe and a look of deep suspicion.)
TÍA MARISOL
¡Mija! I knew it! You look like a desastre. What happened, your uncle finally kicked you out?
MARÍA
Hola, Tía. No, Tío Beto sent me...
TÍA MARISOL
(Cutting her off, dramatically)
Don't lie to me, chica! I can see the shame in your eyes! You come here, to my home, looking like you fought a cat! You are embarrassing the family name in this country! ¡Qué escándalo!
MARÍA
What are you talking about? I just need a place to sleep!
TÍA MARISOL
"A place to sleep." ¡Claro! You think you can just be a vividora, a freeloader, your whole life? In Venezuela, a girl your age would be married with two children and a business selling arepas! You are a disgrace!
MARÍA
You're insane! ¡Estás loca de bola!
TÍA MARISOL
The only one who is loca here is you! Go! ¡Fuera de aquí! Go find some gringo to solve your problems! But don't bring your drama to my door! My show is about to start!
(Tía Marisol snatches the grocery bags from María and slams the door. We snap back to the office. María looks exhausted.)
MARÍA
She took the nopales.
SCENE 2
Location: The same scene, Dr. Rossi's office.
(SCENE START)
DR. ROSSI
This is a classic manifestation of the Superego. An external authority figure casting judgment. So you were cast out. Alone in the wilderness of the San Fernando Valley.
MARÍA
I was in a park in Burbank. Which is worse. I just sat on a bench, ready to offer myself as a sacrifice to the coyotes.
DR. ROSSI
And that is when your Id manifested.
MARÍA
That's when he showed up.
(The office light dims. A spotlight finds MARÍA on her chair, which now seems like a park bench. DR. ROSSI's voice is now a disembodied echo.)
DR. ROSSI (V.O.)
Tell me about him. Describímelo.
MARÍA
(Staring into space)
He didn't walk, he... arrived. Like he was airdropped in. Dressed in head-to-toe Lululemon, but it looked like a suit. He had the kind of toxic positivity you only see in people who sell essential oils.
(MEFI appears, sitting next to her. He smiles a blindingly white smile.)
MEFI
Rough fiscal quarter for the soul, huh? I'm sensing a major disruption in your personal ecosystem.
MARÍA
(Sniffling)
Do I know you?
MEFI
Not yet. But we're about to enter into a beautiful synergy. The name's Mefi. I'm a Paradigm Architect. And your life... it's a fixer-upper with great bones. I can help you flip it.
MARÍA
Look, I'm not interested in your crypto-scam or your mindfulness app.
MEFI
Apps are so 2024. I'm offering a full-stack soul integration. Total vertical alignment. You want to be an influencer? Done. You want your screenplay about a sad girl from Argentina to be produced by A24? Consider it greenlit. You want to understand the universe? I'll send you the masterclass link.
MARÍA
(Wiping tears away, intrigued)
Okay, what's the catch? Do I have to join a cult in Topanga Canyon?
MEFI
Even simpler. A verbal acquisition. Your soul for a life without limits. No more anxiety. No more traffic on the 405. No more suffering.
MARÍA
My soul. Right.
MEFI
And we have to workshop your name. "María" is... classic, but it's not brandable. It lacks edge. We'll start with "M." It's mysterious.
MARÍA
So my soul and my name... for what? The power to get a table at Nobu Malibu?
MEFI
(His smile tightens. His voice drops.)
For power. You were praying, weren't you? To God, to the universe... to anyone. Their server is down. Mine is not. Yes or no? It’s a limited-time offer.
(A long pause. María looks at her miserable reflection in her dark phone screen.)
MARÍA
...Dale. Fine.
MEFI
(Beaming)
Excellent! Welcome to the new you! Oh, and one more thing, part of the wellness package... we'll need to cohabitate for alignment purposes.
MARÍA
¡¿Qué?! ¡Para un poco! You have to be kidding me!
MEFI
It's in the terms of service. Non-negotiable. Think of me as your spiritual roommate. Now let's go disrupt the L.A. nightlife scene.
(Mefi snaps his fingers. A cold L.A. wind seems to blow through the office. We snap back to full light.)
SCENE 3
Location: Dr. Rossi's office.
(SCENE START)
MARÍA
(Pacing)
And just like that, I was... popular. I was witty. I knew about art and politics and venture capital. Mefi would feed me lines through an ear-piece like I was in some spy movie.
(The scene shifts to a painfully chic rooftop bar in West Hollywood. MARÍA is on a date with a handsome man, JAVIER, a Venezuelan actor.)
JAVIER
...and I just feel so lost, you know? Like, what is my purpose in this crazy city?
MARÍA
(Listening to her earpiece)
"Purpose" is a fixed-mindset concept. You should focus on agile living, iterating your existence until you find your market fit.
JAVIER
(Amazed)
Marica, that is so deep. You are brilliant.
(Mefi is at the bar, giving her a thumbs-up. He mouths the word "monetize!")
MARÍA
It's just my authentic truth.
(Mefi gestures wildly for her to say something more profound. She feels like a total fraud. The scene melts back to the office.)
MARÍA
I was his puppet! He promised me the world and all I got was a vocabulary full of corporate buzzwords and an existential dread that made my old anxiety look like a walk in the park. It felt like it went on for seven years. I couldn't take it anymore.
DR. ROSSI
So you decided to confront the paternal archetype. To rebel.
MARÍA
I went nuclear. I decided to summon his boss. The big guy. Lucifer.
(A red light floods the space. María stands, defiant.)
MARÍA (AS RECALLED)
¡Basta! No more middle management! I want to speak to the CEO of Hell! I'm ready for a hostile takeover!
(Instead of fire and brimstone, MEFI appears, looking annoyed, like his meditation session was interrupted.)
MEFI
Do you have any idea how bad it looks when you try to go over my head? It completely undermines our brand identity.
MARÍA
I called for Lucifer! Why are you here?
MEFI
I handle the L.A. County accounts. It's my territory.
MARÍA
Well, I quit! I'm canceling my soul-subscription! I want nothing to do with you, or with... with the Virgin Mary!
(As she says "Mary," Mefi flinches as if struck by lightning.)
MEFI
What... what did you say?
MARÍA
The Virgin MARY! MARY! MARY! ¡La concha de tu madre, MARY!
MEFI
(Stumbling back, genuinely in pain)
You fool... don't you see what you've done... María?
MARÍA
What?
MEFI
You broke the user agreement. You said the name.
(Mefi glitches and dissolves into pixels. María is left alone. The office lights return to normal. She slumps into her chair.)
MARÍA
And he was gone. I freed myself, Doctor. I realized I don't need a devil or a god to tell me what to do.
DR. ROSSI
(A faint, proud smile)
Extraordinary, María. You have integrated the Id. You have found your Ego. This is a breakthrough.
MARÍA
I think I want to go back to school. Study something real. Astronomy, maybe.
DR. ROSSI
A noble pursuit. But, on one condition. We must regulate the chemical aspect. I have a new medication for you. From Argentina, actually. Very good. No side effects.
(Dr. Rossi produces a small pill and a glass of water.)
MARÍA
(Suspicious)
No weird dreams? No seeing things?
DR. ROSSI
Almost none. Trust me.
(María hesitates, her newfound confidence wavering.)
MARÍA
(Suddenly anxious)
Why now? You want me to take it right now? Che... what's your first name?
DR. ROSSI
(His calm is unsettling)
I am Dr. Rossi. Your doctor. We have been doing this for a long time, che.
MARÍA
(Terrified)
Your name isn't Mefi, is it? Por favor, tell me it's not.
DR. ROSSI
No, María. My name is Carlos. I am Dr. Carlos Rossi. Now, take your medicine. Everything is going to be alright.
(María, trembling, finally takes the pill and swallows it. She looks at him, desperate for reassurance.)
MARÍA
Okay, Doctor. I'm sure I'm going to feel much better now.
DR. ROSSI
(His face is a neutral mask. He begins to back away as the light isolates María.)
Of that, I am absolutely certain... María. You're going to feel so much better. I am sure of it... querida... María.
(Dr. Rossi vanishes into the darkness. María sits alone in a single spotlight. She closes her eyes. The light fades slowly to black.)
(FINAL BLACKOUT)
