The Adventures of Aunt Amada and Her Sister Engracia. By Ben Gavarre

The Adventures of Aunt Amada and Her Sister Engracia

A Comedy.

  Followed by a dramatic and scenic analysis, including casting, audience reception, and critiques.

By Benjamín Gavarre.

Scene 1.

Doña Gertrudis, an old woman over 70, rings the doorbell of Aunt Amada and her sister Engracia's apartment and consulting room. Frau Helga, the domestic helper and executive assistant, answers through the intercom.

Frau Helga. (Bilious) What do you want?

Gertrudis. (Mysterious) Excuse me, sir. Don't take this the wrong way…

Frau Helga. I'm not a sir. I'm a miss.

Gertrudis. (Resigned) Yes. Yes. It's possible… Anyway, excuse me. Is this Aunt Amada and her sister Engracia's consulting room?

Frau Helga. (Furious) What did you say? What "Is" Possible?

Gertrudis. (Abruptly) Yes, yes. I said what I said... I think. Anyway. I know nothing has a solution. But what can one do? I was asking if this is the Heart Mailbox Sisters' Consulting Room: they know everything. You know? I heard from a friend that they solve "heart crises," no matter how serious they are. And I would like to…

Frau Helga. (Stunningly) Come up! I'll wait for you here: PH. I meant Penthouse… Oh, and if you have problems with the elevator… I wish you luck.

Frau Helga laughs heartily but stops suddenly and stares at the intercom with an enigmatic smile. Doña Gertrudis tries to make the elevator work: ("An elevator" scenic element with doors that open and close and that supposedly will go up the ten floors of the building until it reaches the penthouse). She bangs on the door with her fists and then looks at it imploringly.

Gertrudis. (Repeatedly presses the elevator buttons, but it obviously doesn't work) Please, elevator, be good to this poor old woman who harms no one. (Always gesturally, she kicks the elevator doors three times; her actions contradict her tone of voice.) Come on, darling, sweet little elevator, you see I live tormented. (The elevator suddenly works and opens its doors.) Thank you, my little elevator, God will repay you. (The elevator suddenly closes its doors, trapping Gertrudis.) Rude!

The elevator doors open and Doña Gertrudis worriedly begins her ascent. On each of the ten floors, there is a sign indicating the old woman's position. We see when Gertrudis reaches the third floor, the elevator doors open, and we see a sign that reads: Better a slow step that lasts than a trot that causes a heart attack… And the elevator doors close again.

Elsewhere on the stage, we see the interior of Aunt Amada and her sister Engracia's apartment and consulting room. The latter is watering her twelve sunflowers (managed like puppets) that all "look" to the left.

Engracia. Boys, please. All well-born sunflowers direct their attention to the sun. The Sun rises in the West and, poor thing, dies in the East. Or is it the other way around? Anyway. Listen to your Aunt Engracia. Please, look to the right, the Sun is there; we can't see it because of that permanent cloud of smog. But I swear it's there. January, February, March, and April… You, who are the smartest in the family, convince your little brothers to look towards the Sun, yes, yes, that's very good.

The sunflowers abruptly turn to the right, and then immediately turn to the center, staring fixedly at Engracia.

But what are you looking at, you Silly-flowers? I'm not the Sun!... As far as I know. Don't look at me. Inconsiderate, rude. I, who go out of my way for your solid, fertilized education, ungrateful, and this is how you repay me. You should learn from Lucrecia. (Lucrecia is a stuffed Chihuahua dog, dressed as a ballet dancer) My little sugar cube, toy, heart, northern treasure, your mommy has your special food ready. Let's leave these spinning, rotten sunflowers alone. Yes, I'm talking about you. And don't look at me like that, June, or I'll pluck your petals. Come, Lucrecia, let's go to the consulting room. You're going to help me solve another poor broken heart's life. Attack, Lucrecia.

Engracia takes her dog in her arms; the sunflowers turn in all directions, completely disoriented.

The elevator doors open. Inside, Doña Gertrudis breathes with difficulty. We see a sign that says: Fifth floor is never entirely bad.

Gertrudis. No, there's no bad fifth floor, only a terrible fifth floor, but I'll get there someday.

And the elevator doors close with creaks and strange sounds.

In the sisters' apartment. Aunt Amada greets the twelve sunflowers that obediently follow her wherever she moves.

Aunt Amada. Good morning, beautiful sunflowers: Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Monday and Saturday, Sunday and Wednesday. Oh, who am I missing. Never mind, good morning, boys, don't get sunstroke.

Doña Gertrudis arrives at her destination. The elevator doors open, and we see a last sign that says: "We will meet again." Gertrudis reads it aloud and walks away on the verge of tears, shouting: "No, no, no, please." Then, she crosses the stage until she reaches the apartment door, collapsing. She knocks desperately. Frau Helga, who is alone in the Consulting Room-apartment at that moment, opens the door, takes the old woman by the shoulders, and leads her to a divan. She writes down her answers in a stenography notebook.

Frau Helga. (Implacable) Name!

Gertrudis. (Suffocated) Gertrudis Núñez de Avellaneda.

Frau Helga. Marital status?

Gertrudis. Married, by my life, married. Listen.

Frau Helga. Sex, public and domestic habits. How many vaccines have you received? Address, phone number, do you have a bank account? Do you like Sundays or not so much?

Gertrudis. Oh, Sundays. You see, my husband used to take me to Chapul…

Frau Helga. (Abruptly) Enough.

Helga examines the patient with a stethoscope. Then she takes her blood pressure. Finally, she takes a tongue depressor and menacingly shows it to Gertrudis.

Frau Helga. Say yes.

Gertrudis. (Smiling) Oh, no, but I'm perfectly fine, I'm healthier than a spring in bloom, I swear.

Frau Helga forces her mouth open and examines her with the tongue depressor.

Frau Helga. (Implacable) Say, Ah.

Gertrudis. (Playful) Very well. Gauuu, Gugu, Gokuuuu.

Frau Helga. Have you suffered any serious illnesses?

Gertrudis. (Suddenly pathetic) Oh, I have suffered so much! My husband, you don't know, he's so jealous!

Frau Helga. Cancer, leukemia, hepatitis… Do you usually suffer heart attacks?

Gertrudis. (Confused) As in usually… Once I had a pain here… (She points to her right shoulder) Or, actually, it was more here… (She points to her left shoulder).

Frau Helga. How old are you?

Gertrudis. (Uncomfortable) What did you say?

Frau Helga. How old are you?

Gertrudis. (Terrified) I don't understand the question.

Frau Helga. (Stunningly) Age!

Gertrudis. (Distraught) Let me see… In 1940… And no… in 1930… and no, no, no, no.

Frau Helga. Be brief.

Gertrudis. Yes, yes, yes, ah, yes… In 1980 and… In 1991…

Frau Helga. (Efficient again) Ninety-what?

Gertrudis. No, no, for God's sake, not that many. (Stutters) I am exact, ta, ta, ta, tely…

Frau Helga. (Hysterical) How old are you, madam?

Gertrudis. Ta, ta and two, ta ta and five, Ta, ta, ta, ta… I am exactly… (About to faint) I am exactly… Oh, God!

Doña Gertrudis faints. Amada and Engracia enter from different doors. Amada immediately goes to Gertrudis's aid. Engracia sits on a sofa with her dog Lucrecia in her arms.

Scene 2

Aunt Amada. But what happened here? Oh, Olga, what happened to this woman, what did you do to her?

Frau Helga. Helga, my name is Helga. Don't forget it, Aunt. (Directing her contained fury at the patient) As for the patient, I can only add that she's a bit deaf. She couldn't understand me when I asked her age.

Engracia. (Incitingly) I wouldn't be surprised, dear Frau, if you had threatened her with the crematorium if she didn't answer your sweet questions.

Frau Helga. (Offended, but contained) Miss Engracia, I merely fulfill—

Engracia. (Imitating her with a singsong voice she knows by heart) …To fulfill my obligations with efficiency, discretion, and discipline. And if you don't like how I work, I'd better leave here. Yes, we know you're efficient, very efficient, more than efficient, dear Olga.

Frau Helga. My name is Helga!

Engracia. Alright, alright, calm down. Look, the old woman has already woken up.

Gertrudis recovers. She looks around startled; Aunt Amada smiles sweetly at her, Engracia looks at herself in a mirror, and Helga looks at her with piercing eyes.

Gertrudis. (Terrified upon seeing Helga) Help, she, that woman, wants to torment me, help, police, call, help.

Aunt Amada. Don't worry, madam. Helga is harmless. Just a little temperamental, but harmless. Let's see, you must have lost your husband, right? Your husband is a lazy, quarrelsome gambler who provides nothing to eat. Come on, sweet granny, tell us. But calmly, at your very advanced age, it's necessary to take things easy, without rushing and without nerves.

Frau Helga. She still hasn't confessed her age.

Aunt Amada. Sins are confessed, Olga, not age. I, for example…

Engracia. Oh, a miracle, are you going to confess your age, little sister?

Aunt Amada. (To Gertrudis; ignoring her sister) So your husband is a lazy, quarrelsome gambler.

Gertrudis. I never said such an atrocity.

Engracia. Oh, barbaric.

Gertrudis. Oh, Aunt, you don't know… My husband…

A part of the stage where Doña Gertrudis's house is located is lit. The husband, Heriberto Manríquez, is a very, very old and hunched man. He triple-locks the doors, padlocks the windows, checks under the beds, etc. While we watch him, the women's voices are heard from the consulting room.

Gertrudis. He is terribly, unbearably, jealous. He is jealous of the mailman, the milkman, the butcher, the baker, the lottery vendor on the corner, the gas seller, the old junk buyer, the news anchor on TV, the ground I walk on, the air I breathe…

Engracia. Slowly, slowly, we're going to suffocate.

Gertrudis. He is a vile man. He is dreadful, repulsive, unhealthy, a scoundrel, and worst of all…

Aunt Amada. Worst of all is that he is a lazy, quarrelsome gambler.

The consulting room is lit. Doña Gertrudis, sitting next to Engracia, who barely looks at her. Helga and Aunt Amada, sitting on the divan, look at her attentively.

Gertrudis. No. Worst of all is that for millennia he hasn't kissed me: not a little kiss on the cheek, no affection, nothing. Oh, Aunt, Oh sister Engracia, what should I do?

Aunt Amada. Don't worry, madam. If your husband is lazy, quarrelsome, and a gambler, it's perhaps your fault. Just look at your appearance. Why don't you dress up nicely? You should be more flirty. Put on perfume, study pastry-making, say naughty things. You'll see that if you fix yourself up a little, his laziness, quarrelsomeness, and gambling will disappear in a flash.

Engracia. Jealous, Amada; her husband is jealous. Tell her, Helga.

Frau Helga. (Coldly) Her husband is jealous.

Engracia. Her husband is one of those types who doesn't let you put on makeup.

Gertrudis. (Excited) Yes.

Engracia. He's one of those who checks your…

Gertrudis. (Increasingly exalted) My mail, my clothes, my purchases…

Engracia. And he's one of those who listens to tangos like "The Evil Perverse Deceitful Woman."

Gertrudis. (Euphoric) Exactly!

Aunt Amada claps enthusiastically.

Aunt Amada. Bravo, may jealousy die, long live tango!

Gertrudis. (Suddenly changes her attitude) But deep down, I don't know if I'm doing right by criticizing him. I'm nobody to criticize him, right?

Engracia. What are you saying? Then who?

Frau Helga. Yes, then who?

Aunt Amada. A lawyer, a priest, a train station master. (All look at her meaningfully; the aunt retracts her comment) No, really, truly yes… criticizing people is very bad.

Gertrudis. Well, yes. Well, no. The truth is I do need your help.

Engracia. Well, that's why you came, isn't it?

Gertrudis. And for that, I'm willing to pay whatever it takes.

Frau Helga. (Sinister) Whatever it takes…

Gertrudis. Yes, of course. (She opens her purse and starts counting coins) And I'd better go now. (She reflects on something private, puts the coins back in her purse and tucks it into her bosom) Heriberto thinks I'm bathing right now.

Engracia. Well, it must be in a tub, because you've taken too long, don't you think? Helga, escort the lady to the door.

Frau Helga. Pay me 200,000 for the consultation.

Aunt Amada. (Reproving Helga's greed) Helga!

Gertrudis. (Alarmed) Two hundred what!

Frau Helga. Two hundred thousand. Now.

Aunt Amada. Don't worry, madam. Helga was just joking.

Frau Helga. If you don't pay me, I'll resign.

Engracia. Come on, Helga, don't threaten to resign and just leave.

Aunt Amada. (Conciliatory) You'll pay us what you can, as long as you're satisfied with our services. Helga, control yourself or we'll have to fire you.

Frau Helga. I need a vacation. Tell her to pay me. (To the trembling Gertrudis) Two hundred thousand, now!

Gertrudis. But… I still… You haven't told me… What… What should I do…

Aunt Amada. Helga, it's alright, from now on you're on vacation… and well-paid, I promise… but first, escort the lady to the door. And don't worry, madam. We'll cure your husband of being lazy, quarrelsome, and a gambler.

Gertrudis. But Aunt, sister Engracia, you still haven't told me what I should do.

Engracia. Goodbye, madam, we wish you good luck because you'll need it. Helga, please take her.

Frau Helga. (Frantic, to Gertrudis) Two hundred thousand. Now.

Frau Helga approaches Doña Gertrudis menacingly; the latter flees in terror and Helga runs after her.

Further on, we see Aunt Amada removing a painting in which she and her sister appear in a curious portrait. The aunt opens a secret cabinet and takes out a small box of chocolates. Engracia approaches slowly, takes the box, and attentively contemplates the chocolates.

Engracia. (Points to each of the chocolates) Against stingy husbands, against liars, against incorrigible mothers-in-law, against talkative wives. No. We ran out of chocolates against jealous husbands, did you understand, little sister, against jealous husbands.

Aunt Amada. Oh, Engracia. What do you think, am I stupid or something? I always knew it was about a rabid husband.

Engracia. Oh, little sister… Look… Let's go with Malaquías instead.

The sisters' consulting room darkens and the part of the stage where Malaquías's laboratory is located lights up.

Scene 3

In Doctor Malaquías Usullagoytia's laboratory.

The doctor explains one more of his experiments. Engracia, fascinated, watches as the doctor mixes each of the ingredients he mentions. The assistant, Serafín del Monte, tries to save the mortar or test tube that Malaquías is clumsily about to drop to the floor.

Malaquías. Jealousy, oh heavens! We must finish with the green-eyed monster that mocks the flesh it feeds on. The green monster of jealousy… and also of envy, you know. Oh, miserable me… But I had already prepared millions of times the chocolates against jealousy.

Serafín del Monte. They ran out, doctor.

Malaquías. Look, look Serafín. This chocolate powder is just chocolate powder… but thanks to the prodigy of science, we will turn it into the most powerful antidote, capable of defeating the most unbearable of Othellos.

Engracia. Oh, Doctor Usullagoytia, you speak so well and so clearly, so deliciously clearly.

Malaquías. So I've been told.

Engracia. And without wanting to bother you or intrude on your vast knowledge… Don't you think it needs more sugar?

Malaquías. The chocolate powder already has sugar.

Engracia. According to me. Couldn't you add a little more?

Malaquías. Yes? Won't it be too sweet?

Engracia. It's important that they have sugar. It's important.

Malaquías. Serafín, listen to the aunt and bring me some sugar.

Engracia. Just a little?

Malaquías. Serafín, listen to the aunt and bring me a kilo of sugar.

Serafín del Monte. But, doctor…

Engracia. Make it two kilos.

Serafín del Monte. Doctor…

Malaquías. Listen to the aunt.

Serafín del Monte. Alright…

Malaquías. Say no more. Now we immerse this chocolate powder and these two kilos of sugar and mix it all with liquid sodium bicarbonate, ten milliliters of distilled mercury bromide from the Moor of Venice, two or three Gobi Desert cacti… and then irradiate this whole universe of molecules with uranium two hundred twenty-three.

We see a small explosion effect, with lights, smoke, and sound. And after a glow and strobe lights, we see the doctor with shiny chocolates on a glass tray.

There, jealousy is gone. Now, we have to put them in a small box and give them to the incorrigible jealous subject to try.

Engracia. (Approaches him flirtatiously) Oh, doctor, you're a genius. When will you accept my dinner invitation? You were more than formally set to come and meet my educated and lovely sunflowers.

Malaquías. (Nervous, drops his glasses. Speaks unintelligibly) My glasses have fallen, I've lost them, and I can't see anything without them.

Engracia. Poor Doctor Usullagoytia. He seems to have had a seizure. What did he say, Serafín?

Serafín del Monte. The doctor says he finds you more beautiful than usual.

Malaquías. (Twists Serafín del Monte's arm to silence him) As for jealousy, one must hope that the subject experiencing it does not eat more than one chocolate. Excess, as in this and all cases, can be dangerous, extremely dangerous.

Engracia. But doctor, you haven't answered me… When will you accept the invitation?

Malaquías. I, I urgently need to go to the bathroom. Serafín, you attend to the aunt.

Serafín del Monte. Very well, Aunt. Have you been told that you're a very pretty aunt?

Engracia. Me, many times, but tell me more.

Serafín del Monte. Well, you see… I…

(Blackout)

Scene 4

House of Gertrudis and her husband, Heriberto Manríquez. The old man scolds his wife, who cries inconsolably while cleaning the apartment furniture. A man's whistle is heard from the street.

Heriberto. Who are you thinking of, Gertrudis? Are you communicating with the whistling man, right? Are you sending him secret messages with your crying? That's it… (More whistles are heard) Has he answered you? What is he telling you?… (Gertrudis stops crying) And now, why don't you answer him? Come on, keep crying…

The doorbell rings; we see Aunt Amada disguised as a saleswoman from the "La Ilusión" chocolate factory.

Heriberto. Gertrudis, lock yourself in your bedroom because your little whistler has arrived. Let's see what lies you'll come up with to see him. Falling in love at your age; you should be ashamed. Get into your bedroom!

Heriberto barely opens the door, which is blocked by a chain.

Heriberto. (To Aunt Amada) What do you want?

Aunt Amada. Good afternoon, sir, I represent the "La Ilusión" candy and chocolate factory.

Heriberto. Don't tell me. The man whistling in the street sent you, did he or didn't he? Swear to me it's not like that.

Aunt Amada. I never swear in vain, my lord.

Heriberto. Well, tell that good-for-nothing that neither crazy, nor dead, nor buried will I allow my wife to cheat on me with him.

The man's whistle is heard insistently from the street. Gertrudis peeks out discreetly so her husband doesn't see her.

Heriberto. Did you hear him? (He peeks through the door and we know he's looking at the man whistling) Look at him, still whistling. Tell him I won't fall into his trap, and that I already know his secret code, and that he shouldn't waste his time with me, and that he can save his little screams.

Aunt Amada. I don't know what you're talking about, sir, but look, I'll be content if you try one… No, better two… No, better three chocolates from the "La Ilusión" factory. They're free.

Heriberto. Get out of here!

Aunt Amada. Look, take advantage of the promotion. If you try three of our wonderful chocolates, we'll give you a whole package of twenty chocolates from the "La Ilusión" candy and chocolate factory.

Heriberto. Don't insist; you don't have to know, but I'm diabetic.

Aunt Amada. That doesn't matter, no; that doesn't matter at all. They are chocolates for diabetics, sugar-free.

Heriberto. Sugar-free?

Aunt Amada. (Nervous, seeing she's losing her chance) Uh… Not real sugar… that is, they are light sugar, zero, low calorie… It's not really sugar. Listen, if you try just one of our unbeatable sugar-free chocolates… (She makes an effort to overcome her disgust) …I promise I'll give you a kiss as a reward.

Heriberto. (Lets the aunt in, acts like an aspiring seducer. Gertrudis hides in her bedroom, but suddenly peeks out) Are you serious? You'd give me a passionate kiss?

Aunt Amada. (With infinite dignity) A kiss on the cheek, sir, for I am a lady.

Heriberto. And which chocolate will bring me to the joy of your kiss, sweet lady, mistress of all my intentions?

Aunt Amada. (Plays along with the courtly kitsch) Try this chocolate, sir, and this other, and one more, because your case is more serious than I thought.

Heriberto. My case, what case?

Aunt Amada. Very well, how do you like them? Aren't they wonderful?

Heriberto. (Eats all the chocolates) Unbeatable. As sweet as your lips and as charming as your pupils… and what about the kisses? Aren't you going to give me more kisses?

Aunt Amada. Kisses are for your wife! Old, lazy, quarrelsome gambler! Adieu!

Aunt Amada exits like an exhalation. Gertrudis definitely goes into her bedroom.

Heriberto, due to the chocolates, undergoes a remarkable transformation: he walks erect, smiling. He goes to the mirror and tidies himself while whistling "Amorcito corazón." Finally, he knocks on Doña Gertrudis's bedroom door.

Heriberto. Gertrudis! Gertrudis, my love. My soul's beauty, come here, doll, Gertrudis of my loves, come, pretty little woman, come give your husband a kiss.

Gertrudis peeks out; we only see her head.

Gertrudis. (Amazed and uneasy) What's wrong, Heriberto, what's happening to you?

Heriberto. Let me into your bedroom, my love. Let me show you all my affection, all my eternal and profound love. Let me in, my heart.

Gertrudis. (Comes out of her bedroom and confronts Heriberto) You should be ashamed, Heriberto, at your age. Leave me alone, and go to your bedroom as you always have, get out of here and don't touch me, don't grab me, let me go… No, please, help, help, police!

He leads her to a sofa.

Heriberto. (Like an overly sweet courtier) Let's see, my love; my little princess. What do you want for dinner? Chongos Zamoranos? Crepes with cajeta and jam? Caramel cake with nougat? Honey and piloncillo wafers? Just tell me and I'll bring you everything you order.

Gertrudis. Heriberto, you know very well we are both diabetic.

Heriberto. Very well. Then get dressed, we're going to a restaurant for dinner. What do you prefer? Chinese, Venezuelan, Indian food? Or how about some good enchiladas? Decide quickly, sweetheart, I'm starving. Tell me, my treasure, my angel. You know I love you very much, don't you? Give me a kiss; kiss me, my beloved; I'm all yours, don't leave; let me show you all my love; my life, you are my everything, my life, don't leave, my life…

Gertrudis. Help, please, someone help me.

Gertrudis exits the apartment and is pursued by the very passionate Heriberto.

(Blackout)

Scene 5

In the sisters' consulting room-penthouse.

Engracia hugs her dog Lucrecia, and Aunt Amada observes the twelve sunflowers, which are turning in all directions, with intrigue.

Aunt Amada. How barbaric, Doña Gertrudis, if I tell you Engracia that I just don't understand people, can you imagine her? Shouting like a lost soul in the streets. "I want a divorce!" "I want a divorce!" I really don't understand it. Look, her husband is so attentive now… He brings her food in bed, feeds her by hand, bakes her cakes himself, invites her every afternoon to eat at the best restaurants… And he's so attentive and loving that he gives her a good morning kiss, a good afternoon kiss, a good night kiss, a kiss when he comes back from grocery shopping. Yes, I truly don't understand people.

Engracia. (Dissatisfied) And do you think Doña Gertrudis feels very comfortable with her clingy husband? His jealousy is gone, but would you put up with such an overly sweet husband?

Aunt Amada. Me? A husband? Neither clingy, nor jealous, nor anything. I'm fine as I am.

Engracia. (Sighs) Yes, we're fine as we are.

Aunt Amada. You're thinking about Malaquías again. I've already told you he's not for you. He's too old.

Engracia. Yes… (Pause) You know… I shouldn't have suggested he put so much sugar in the chocolates. It was too much, too much, too much sugar.

Aunt Amada. Oh, little sister, what have you done?

(Blackout)

Epilogue

Heart Mailbox of Aunt Amada and her sister Engracia. They know everything.

The two sisters make a video for a social network.

Aunt Amada. (Speaks to the camera) Welcome to the Heart Mailbox of Aunt Amada and Aunt Engracia. Curiously, before starting these videos, we received millions of doubts, requests, and pleas from all kinds of bewildered hearts.

Engracia. So, we will immediately begin reading each of the messages we have received.

Aunt Amada. (Reads one of the messages) Dear Aunts. For some time now, I've dreamed of becoming invisible… to know what my husband does at night. He swears it's work matters.

Engracia. Oh, yeah, right.

Aunt Amada. (Continues reading to camera) …but it's been five years now that he has work matters… Tell me: What should I do? (Responds to the message) My very invisible friend, don't suffer. We will do everything possible to…

Engracia. (Disagreeing) No, no, no, no, and no. Look, Invisible Lady: Don't you know it's terribly bad taste to spy on people?

Aunt Amada. But it's her husband…

Engracia. Well, even if it were her dog. Or what… Would you like to be spied on?

Aunt Amada. No, right? You're right. Imagine being watched in the morning just after waking up. Looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, making faces. Looking at your tongue…

Engracia. Little sister, we're talking about the very invisible lady, not me.

Aunt Amada. (To the camera) Don't worry, madam. If you want to become invisible, it's very easy. Step one: Kidnap your husband's secretary. Step two: Disguise yourself as her… And step three: have fiery sex with your husband and then you'll see if he's really cheating or not so much.

Engracia. Amazing, Amada. Sometimes you even seem intelligent.

Aunt Amada. Thank you, little sister.

Engracia. And don't forget, ladies and gentlemen, young people, boys and girls… Any sentimental matter will be resolved by us at the Heart Mailbox. We know everything!

THE END

Dramatic and Scenic Analysis: "The Adventures of Aunt Amada and Her Sister Engracia"

Benjamín Gavarre's "The Adventures of Aunt Amada and Her Sister Engracia" is a delightful, fast-paced comedy that thrives on character eccentricities, farcical situations, and witty dialogue. It's a play that could truly shine with strong comedic performances and creative staging.

Dramatic Analysis

Genre and Style:

The play is explicitly a comedy, leaning heavily into farce and situational comedy. The humor comes from exaggerated characters, absurd situations (like the "jealousy chocolates"), rapid-fire dialogue, and a touch of the grotesque (Frau Helga's intimidating nature, Heriberto's over-the-top transformation). There's also an element of social satire, gently poking fun at marriage, therapy, and the absurd lengths people go to for love (or to control it). The epilogue adds a modern, almost meta-theatrical layer with the social media video, suggesting a commentary on contemporary self-help culture.

Themes:

 * Love and Relationships: The central conflict revolves around Gertrudis's troubled marriage and the sisters' unconventional "solutions." The play explores jealousy, obsession, and the pitfalls of both neglected and overly attentive relationships.

 * The Pursuit of Happiness/Solution: Characters are constantly seeking external solutions to internal problems, whether it's Gertrudis's desire to "fix" her husband or Engracia's infatuation. The play ironically suggests that these "solutions" often lead to new, equally chaotic problems.

 * Identity and Perception: Frau Helga's insistence on her name, the sunflowers' changing orientation, and Heriberto's transformation all touch on how identity is perceived and altered. Gertrudis's initial fear of Helga, despite Amada calling her "harmless," highlights the subjective nature of perception.

 * Quackery vs. Genuine Help: The "Heart Mailbox" is presented as a somewhat dubious enterprise, with the sisters offering questionable advice and Malaquías providing questionable "cures." This provides a humorous critique of self-proclaimed experts.

Character Arcs/Development:

 * Doña Gertrudis: Starts as a desperate, pathetic figure tormented by her jealous husband. Her journey is largely reactive, moving from victim to someone equally overwhelmed by the "cure." She experiences a shift from desiring a less jealous husband to longing for her previous, less clingy one.

 * Aunt Amada: The more compassionate and seemingly "reasonable" of the sisters, though her advice (like the "flirting" and "sex with the secretary") is often misguided and humorous. She represents a kind of well-meaning but ultimately ineffective "therapist."

 * Engracia: The more cynical, blunt, and arguably more realistic sister. Her interactions with the sunflowers and her pursuit of Malaquías add to the comedic relief. She's the one who often points out the obvious flaws in Amada's plans or the general absurdity.

 * Frau Helga: A consistently menacing and intimidating character, whose humor comes from her deadpan delivery and aggressive efficiency. She serves as a strong comedic foil to the other characters. She has no discernable arc, remaining steadfast in her demanding nature.

 * Heriberto Manríquez: Transforms from an intensely jealous, controlling husband into an excessively loving and clingy one. His character undergoes the most dramatic and farcical physical and emotional shift due to the chocolates.

 * Dr. Malaquías Usullagoytia: The eccentric, brilliant, yet socially awkward scientist. His genius is clearly flawed by Engracia's influence, leading to the disastrous outcome.

 * Serafín del Monte: The long-suffering, sycophantic assistant, whose main role is to facilitate Malaquías's experiments and occasionally pander to Engracia.

Dialogue:

The dialogue is sharp, often rapid-fire, and full of comedic misunderstandings and quick retorts. Helga's directness contrasts with Gertrudis's meandering answers and Amada's flowery (if questionable) advice. The use of repetition (Helga's name, the husband's vices) builds comedic effect. The blend of formal address ("usted") with informal speech adds a layer of humor.

Conflict:

The primary conflict is Gertrudis's marital crisis (man vs. man/self). However, the play generates conflict through character interactions: Gertrudis vs. Helga, Amada vs. Engracia (in their approaches), and ultimately, the "cure" vs. the desired outcome.

Scenic Analysis

Setting:

The play requires three distinct, but easily transitionable, settings:

 * Aunt Amada and Engracia's Consulting Room/Apartment (Penthouse): This should feel a bit eclectic, perhaps slightly dated but with a professional veneer. Key elements: a doorbell/intercom, a divan for patients, and the twelve sunflowers (crucial for visual humor). The "secret cabinet" is also important.

 * Gertrudis and Heriberto's House: This should convey a sense of claustrophobia and perhaps a slightly worn, lived-in feel, reflecting Heriberto's controlling nature. Key elements: a front door with a chain, windows, and furniture to clean.

 * Dr. Malaquías Usullagoytia's Laboratory: This should be visually distinct, filled with scientific apparatus (beakers, tubes, a mortar and pestle) that can produce simple, comical "explosions" or special effects. It should feel chaotic yet supposedly brilliant.

Staging and Movement:

 * Elevator: The "scenographic elevator" is a central comedic device. Its malfunctioning, trapping Gertrudis, and revealing the humorous signs on each floor offer great physical comedy opportunities. The sounds of creaking and strange noises enhance this.

 * Sunflowers: The sunflowers are essential visual props. Their "puppet-like" movements, especially their disorientation, provide excellent comedic moments and reflect Engracia's personality.

 * Physical Comedy: There's ample opportunity for physical comedy: Gertrudis's struggle with the elevator, her fainting, Helga's menacing gestures, Amada's "dignified" kiss, Heriberto's dramatic transformation and pursuit, Serafín's attempts to catch falling objects.

 * Lighting: Lighting changes are explicitly mentioned to shift between locations (Gertrudis's house, the consulting room, Malaquías's lab). Spotlighting or area lighting could be used to emphasize specific characters or actions, particularly during the voiceover sections.

 * Props: Key props include the intercom, the stethoscope, abatelenguas (tongue depressor), stenography notebook, Lucrecia the dog (stuffed), the secret cabinet, chocolate box, scientific equipment, and the chocolates themselves.

Possible Casting

The play relies heavily on strong comedic timing and character acting.

 * Doña Gertrudis (70s+): Requires an actress who can seamlessly transition between pathetic, terrified, playful, and exasperated. Strong physical comedy skills for the elevator scenes and fainting.

 * Frau Helga (Any age, but perhaps younger than Amada/Engracia for contrast): Needs to be stern, imposing, and have excellent deadpan delivery. Her "implacable" and "fulminant" nature should be conveyed with subtle power.

 * Aunt Amada (50s-70s): The seemingly sweeter, but equally eccentric, sister. Needs to portray a naive charm while delivering outlandish advice.

 * Engracia (50s-70s): The more cynical and direct sister. Needs a sharp wit and the ability to command the sunflowers. A good foil to Amada.

 * Heriberto Manríquez (Very old, hunched): Requires an actor capable of a drastic physical and vocal transformation from curmudgeonly jealous to disgustingly affectionate. Strong comedic physicality is a must.

 * Dr. Malaquías Usullagoytia (50s-70s): An eccentric, slightly disheveled intellectual. Needs to convincingly deliver scientific jargon while being comically awkward, especially around Engracia.

 * Serafín del Monte (Any age, younger than Malaquías): The earnest, perhaps a bit simple, assistant. His role is to be submissive and occasionally deliver amusing observations.

Consider actors who have experience with physical comedy and a knack for rapid-fire, stylized dialogue. The ages are flexible, but the dynamic between Gertrudis and the sisters, and the "old" Heriberto, is crucial.

Possible Audience Reception

This play has the potential for a very positive and enthusiastic reception from an audience looking for lighthearted, humorous entertainment.

 * Laughter: The core strength of the play is its humor. Audiences will likely find the situations, character interactions, and witty lines highly amusing. The absurdity of the "cures" and the over-the-top reactions will generate significant laughter.

 * Relatability (with a twist): While exaggerated, the themes of marital woes, seeking advice, and dealing with difficult personalities are universally relatable, making the humor land even better.

 * Visual Appeal: The physical comedy, especially the elevator and the sunflowers, adds a strong visual dimension that will keep the audience engaged.

 * Memorable Characters: The distinct personalities of the aunts, Helga, Gertrudis, and Heriberto are highly memorable and enjoyable to watch.

 * Potential for Standing Ovations: If performed by a strong comedic cast with excellent timing, the play could easily be a crowd-pleaser and receive very warm applause.

Challenges:

 * Pacing: To maintain the farcical energy, the pacing must be very tight. Slow moments could diminish the comedic impact.

 * Character Balance: Ensuring that each eccentric character gets their moment without overshadowing others will be key.

 * Believability of the Absurdity: The actors must commit fully to the exaggerated nature of their roles for the humor to land rather than feel forced.

Critiques

Strengths:

 * Strong Comedic Premise: The idea of "heart crisis" consultants who offer unconventional and ultimately disastrous advice is a brilliant comedic setup.

 * Vibrant Characters: Each character, even minor ones like Serafín, has a distinct personality and contributes to the overall humor. Frau Helga is a standout comedic creation.

 * Sharp Dialogue: The lines are witty, concise, and often land punchlines effectively. The use of repetition and quick retorts keeps the energy high.

 * Excellent Visual Gags: The elevator, the sunflowers, and Heriberto's transformation are fantastic opportunities for physical comedy and visual humor.

 * Thematic Relevance: Despite the farce, the underlying themes of relationship struggles and the search for solutions resonate, adding a layer of depth.

 * Satisfyingly Absurd Ending: The resolution (or lack thereof) with Gertrudis fleeing her overly affectionate husband, and the epilogue with the social media video, perfectly aligns with the farcical tone, demonstrating that "solving" problems often creates new ones.

Areas for Consideration/Minor Weaknesses:

 * Pacing (potential issue): While generally good, some transitions between scenes might need careful direction to maintain the frenetic energy.

 * Character Development (limited, but intentional for farce): As with most farces, deep character arcs are not the primary goal. However, some audience members might crave a bit more emotional resonance beyond the laughs. This is a minor point given the genre.

 * The "Solution" is too effective: The chocolates are almost too effective, changing Heriberto completely and instantly. While necessary for the farce, it pushes the boundaries of suspension of disbelief, even within a comedic context. Perhaps a slightly more gradual shift, or a few more attempts with different "chocolates," could heighten the tension before the full transformation.

 * Repetitive Gags (minor): While repetition is part of the humor (Helga's name, the husband's vices), ensuring it doesn't become too repetitive is a directorial challenge.

Overall, "Las aventuras de la tía Amada y de su hermana Engracia" is a well-crafted, genuinely funny play that promises a highly entertaining theatrical experience. It's a testament to your ability to create engaging characters and hilarious situations.